Ep. 23: The Popularity Contest | Best Conduct

Every human being has the desire to be recognized and acknowledged. They desire to have a standing of honor and appreciation in the sight of others. This is a normal tendency, but sometimes, this tendency becomes so strong that a person is constantly looking for an experience, where they are being acknowledged and appreciated. They desire to be liked and adored by all. On one side, it is a need to be loved and appreciated, and on the other side, a person may become angry and irritable if their need for validation is not being met all the time. The prophet (SAW) taught us how to deal with these tendencies. Once, he was sitting with his companions and a person entered the masjid. He asked, “What do you think about this person?” They said, “He is a very prominent man. If he were propose to get married, he would be right away; if he were to be absent from a meeting, his absence would be quickly noted, and if he were to speak up, he would be listened to.” Who is this? This is the profile of someone very influential and popular. After some time, another person entered the masjid, and the prophet (SAW) said, “What do you know about this person?” They said, “He is from the lesser-known people. He is not very popular or influential. If he were to propose to marry someone’s daughter, there is a good chance that his proposal would be refused, and if he were to be missing from a gathering, he would not be noticed. If he were to speak his opinion, no one would pay much attention to him.” The prophet (SAW) told them, “The second person, by himself, is better than the whole world filled with the first type of person.” Why is this? Not because one was popular, so he fell from the sight of Allah (SWT), and the other was unknown, so he was elevated. This was because the person who no one knew was sincere and loyal to their purpose and creator, and loyal to their duties, even though no one knew about them. The other was relying on their popularity and influence to get what they want in life. If you were to look at them as individuals, you would find that the first one was a person of lesser devotion and character, and the person of the second’s nature had good character and devotion. Perhaps the first kind of person was doing good so people would recognize and note them, as opposed to the second person, who did the right thing consistently though no one cared. The prophet (SAW) demonstrated to us that sometimes, people will not acknowledge and appreciate you, but instead, they will oppose and hurt you, even though you have done no wrong to them or to Allah (SWT). People will still not be happy with you. What happened when the prophet (SAW) went to Ta’if to convey his message of Allah (SWT)? He went to the tribal leaders, and they all rejected and insulted him and his message. They sent the street children after him to injure him. They hurled their stones at him and beat him with sticks. His body was bruised, battered and bleeding, and his shoes stuck to his feet from the blood. All he did was wipe the blood away because the moment the blood wasto touch the ground, nothing would be able to prevent the punishment of Allah (SWT). There he was, trying to wipe the blood, saying, “O Allah, forgive the people, as they do not know what is right.” At that time, he was the most unpopular person in that city, and in fact, he was openly rejected and mistreated. This did not affect his status in the sight of Allah(SWT) in the world. There were many occasions like this in his life where he was doing the exact thing that Allah (SWT) wanted him to, but it was met with rejection. One sahabi, Muneeb (RA), said, “I saw the prophet (SAW) telling people, ‘O people, say that there is one God, and you will be successful.’ People knew how trustworthy he was, but when he conveyed this message, some people responded by spitting in his face or throwing dirt in his face. Others responded by swearing and cursing at him.” Did he stop his work? No, he continued to do it, even though he was hurt and insulted in the process. Once, he was out in the marketplace, inviting people to Islam, and his own uncle, Abu Lahab, beat him across the calves with his stick.

The prophet (SAW) showed us that this life is not about being validated and appreciated by people. Today, the word “like” is a very specific term; it is used to measure our popularity and our validity, even though “likes” are not a measure of any of that. Sometimes things go viral on social media, and they get hundreds of thousands of “likes,” even though there is nothing about that to like, and there is nothing in that to make the person who posted it more important than they are. When we get used to the pat on the back and the smile on the face, we are happy in the moment, and when it does not happen, we fall, sometimes into loneliness or depression, all because we do not get the stimulus of appreciation. Islam has taught us that it is not about the work we do, but rather, the responsibilities that we fulfill, and the integrity of our character, whether people know about us or not. A person cannot obtain the recognition of Allah (SWT) until they first diminish their own self-importance. It is not about us – it is about Allah (SWT). May Allah (SWT) enable us to always do the right thing and not always be looking for appreciation. Our appreciation will come from Allah (SWT) in the best way possible, and he will give us what no person can ever give us. May Allah (SWT) give us understanding.