Ep. 33: Getting the Most from a Gathering | Best Conduct

Once, the prophet (SAW) was sitting with his companions and giving a talk in the masjid. As he was giving his talk, three people came into the masjid and saw the gathering taking place. One of them looked for an opening and went as far up as he possibly could, while the other one sat at the back. The third one, who might have forgotten something important, turned around and went right back outside the masjid. After the prophet (SAW) finished his talk, he said, “Let me tell you about these three people. All three of them came on the same time, but all three of them were treated differently based on how they treated this gathering. The first person was looking to see how close they could get to me as possible. He did his part by going up as far as possible. This person’s example is like someone who took the protection of Allah (SWT).” When we come to a gathering where knowledge is being passed on, the prophet (SAW) compares this to a place where we are taking shelter. We are taking shelter with Allah (SWT) because his special mercy comes through these gatherings, and through these gatherings, Allah (SWT) saves us from many things. This is why these gatherings are shelters. The knowledge that is shared saves us in this world and the hereafter. “The second person had a shy approach and sat at the back. Allah (SWT) also dealt shyly with him. Maybe Allah (SWT) did not deprive him, but he did not give him what he gave the first person who showed his zeal to Allah (SWT). As for the third one, who turned around and left the gathering, he turned away from the gathering, so Allah (SWT) turned away from him.”

So, whenever there is an opportunity to learn, we become one of these people. We show our zeal, though we might already be seated in our desk, it is about how much zeal we are showing to whatever gathering we are at. Some students will show their zeal and they will come under the protection of Allah (SWT) because of the way they behave in that class. Others will look around and while they might not be causing any trouble, they will not be participating the way they could. Those people will be dealt with according to how much effort they put in that class. The third category of people will turn away from that gathering. How is this? Sometimes, even though we are seated at a gathering or class, we are not there, and our mind has jumped to someplace else. Whatever is being presented, it is lost on us because we did not bring our minds there. This is a person who has turned away from the gathering, even though we are there physically. If we are not putting our minds and hearts into it, we will not be able to take away from it. These are the opportunities in which Shaytan finds the lapses in our judgement to get us to do something else, maybe to talk to your neighbor or do something else that will distract the teacher’s or speaker’s attention. You will force the teacher to do this and will make them stop their lesson and the burden of that will be on you. If we become a source of other people’s motivation, we become a source of other people being able to learn, and if we become a source of other people being distracted, we must carry the sin of that. Just dealing respectfully with an environment will become a means of getting closer to Allah (SWT). Imagine how close you will get to Allah (SWT) doing this year after year. Just by attending class in a respectful way we will get closer to Allah (SWT). May Allah (SWT) open the doors of etiquette /adhab for us. In Arabic, there are some cutlets that describe a person who does not have adhab. The poet says, “The orphan person is not the one who has lost their parents; the orphan is the one who has been deprived of adhab, knowledge and etiquette.” This is a person who does not have a correct manner of speaking or behaving. This person is deprived and like an orphan. “Beauty, charm and grace does not come from grandiose clothes, but rather, it comes from the knowledge and dignified behavior that they represent.” May Allah (SWT) adorn us with good manners and character and may Allah (SWT) make us a good model for other people.