Ep. 08: Asmaa’ bt. Abi Bakr | Our Models – The Heroes We Want to Be

Many people know the story of when the prophet (SAW) migrated from Makkah to Madinah and how he left Sayyid Ali (RA) in his place and the people of Quraysh, who had plotted to kill him, waited there all night. The prophet (SAW) recited the verses of Surah Yaseen and was able to escape right by them. People do not know what happened after this. They know that the prophet (SAW) left and travelled, but when these people saw that it was morning time and the prophet (SAW) had not come out of his house, they found Ali (RA) there and demanded from him that they tell them where the prophet (SAW) was. Ali (RA) did not tell them. Some narrations mention that they grabbed him and started beating him and took them all the way to the Ka’bah. Abu Jahl, in the meantime, went to the prophet (SAW)’s best friend’s house, Abu Bakr (RA). Of course, Abu Bakr (RA) had accompanied the prophet (SAW) on that night. Who opened the door? Abu Bakr (RA)’s elder daughter, Asmaa’. Abu Jahl, in a very rude way, asked her, “Where is your father?” She said, “How should I know and why should I tell you?” Abu Jahl, who was already in a rage, slapped Asmaa’ (RA). He hit her so hard that he broke the earring in her ear and it went flying. She did not respond to this and quietly went inside and closed the door. Later on, in that same night, Asmaa’ (RA) prepared food, and, along with her brother, she went to the place the prophet (SAW) was and brought food for him. Like this, each night, she would bring the food to the prophet (SAW) with her brother in the dark of the night. On one of the days, because she did not have enough things to tie the food and time was of the essence, she took her waistband and quickly ripped it in half and left half around her stomach and used the other half to tie up her food. When the prophet (SAW) saw this, he called her “The girl that has two belts”. This became her title, “The girl with two belts.”

She was married to Zubayr ibn Awwam (RA), who were one of the great sahaba of the prophet (SAW). She underwent many difficulties for the sake of Islam. That slap that she received in the face was not the only hardship she endured; in fact, after moving to Madinah, Zubayr did not have much. He had one camel and one horse, and much later, the prophet (SAW) gave him a piece of land which he could take care of. The land was quite a distance from her Asmaa’ (RA)’s house, and she took upon herself the responsibility for caring for the horse and camel of Zubayr (RA). She would fetch water and carry it, and sometimes, the bucket that she had would rip. She would repair the bucket and go all the way to the piece of land and gather the pits of the dates on the land, carry the dates, crush them and feed the pits to the animals. Like this, in a very impoverished condition, she spent the first of her years in Madinah. Something very interesting happened. Because she did not have much and she always wanted to spend in the path of Allah (SWT), she had difficulty. She would always be very careful and cautious when spending. The prophet (SAW) learnt about this, so he said, “O Asmaa’, do not count when you spend. If you start counting when you spend, Allah (SWT) will start counting when he spends for you.” From that day, she stopped counting and started spending. The beautiful thing is, as soon as she started this, Zubayr (RA) began getting wealthier and wealthier, and when he passed away, he had so much wealth that he was one of the wealthiest people of that time. He was a multi-billionaire when he left this world. Asmaa’ (RA) understood that the secret to gaining from the treasures of Allah (SWT) is by gaining and spending, and many times her faith was put to the test. One of those times was when she was hungry and thirsty at her home. They had a Jewish neighbor who was cooking food and the fragrance of the food drove her crazy. She was about to give birth to one of her sons and the smell of food drove her crazy. She went to that neighbor’s house to ask for fire for her stove, even though she did not need it, and she was hoping that maybe they might ask if she wanted something to eat. She went, they did not ask her anything, and she came back home. She found another excuse to ask, so she went back to the neighbor’s house, and came back empty handed. The third time, the same thing happened, and Asmaa’ (RA) started crying and making du’a to Allah (SWT).

The Jewish neighbor’s man came home, and when he saw that his wife cooked this delicious meal, Allah (SWT) put in his heart that he would not eat a single bite until he gave some to Zubayr’s wife. A short while after, the wife came to Asmaa’ (RA)’s doorstep with a bowl of delicious food that had been driving her crazy. These were people who Allah (SWT) tested them in many ways and they persevered. Today, we look at them as models for anything in life. For any circumstance that presents itself, one of the things that we should keep in mind is that there is always a model to follow. We have models of happiness and sorrow from the people of Islam before us. May Allah (SWT) grant us tawfiq.