Ep. 08: Decent Speech | Best Conduct

Islam came to bring people not only to the correct beliefs, but also to the best behaviors. Whoever was accepting Islam was transforming into a much better individual compared to how they were before Islam. The prophet (SAW) kept a watchful eye on this transformation his followers were going through, and whether they were going through a complete transformation or there were some things left over from the days of ignorance. Once, he passed by Abu Dharr (RA) and observed that he was exchanging or using some very harsh words with a slave of his. The swear that he used mentioned the name of the slave’s mother. The prophet (SAW) heard him and verified what happened. Abu Dharr (RA) said, “Yes, this is what happened. I cursed at him.” The prophet (SAW) noted, “You are a person who still has remnants of those old behaviors in you.” Behaviors of ignorance included foul language, swearing and vulgar talk. This was not tolerated by the prophet (SAW); rather, the Qur’an wanted Muslims to have the best and most noble speech. “Tell my slaves to speak in the best way possible. Indeed, Shaytan will come to provoke them and instigate them against each other but tell them to control themselves and maintain a beautiful and noble language.” The prophet (SAW) told us that the heaviest thing on the scale of deeds on the Day of Judgement is conduct. “There is nothing heavier on the scale of deeds than good conduct, good behavior and nice characteristics.” At the same time, he warned in the same hadith, “Allah (SWT) despises someone who is vulgar and someone who uses foul language.” In another hadith, he says, “Modesty and the ability to pull back from that which brings shame ends up in Jannah.” In contrast, “Foul language is from rudeness, and rudeness ends up in Jahannam.” That thing that holds you back from rudeness is a characteristic of Iman, and Iman will take us to Jannah; but to be foul mouthed is a characteristic of rudeness, and rudeness takes us to Jahannam. The prophet (SAW) said, “A true believer will never curse things, use bad language, be vulgar or be foul mouthed.”

What happens to us when we listen to certain people, watch certain things or are in the company of certain people who use foul, vulgar or filthy language?

We also become inclined to use their vocabulary when going through situations similar to them. A believer will never let themselves fall into that trap. If you think of all bad words, they are exactly that – a bad word. Think of what it means. Think of what it implies. All these bad words are speaking of filth and dirt and of something that is very lowly. Why would a person talk about such things? Every word we say is documented. Imagine, on the Day of Judgement, someone opens their book of deeds, and they find all these swear words and curses, and their sahifa of deeds is filled with it. What will this person do on the Day of Judgement? Allah (SWT) has announced through the prophet (SAW) that he hates such people. Why would you allow the tongue that you say shahada with to say such filth? How could you bring yourself to that? Imagine, if you are mirroring someone else’s foul language, and tomorrow, someone takes an influence from your foul language, then you have become a source of someone else displeasing Allah (SWT), and it could be that one day you make tawbah and istighfar, but if someone picks up your bad habit, whatever sin they incur will keep coming back to you, and if someone else took a bad influence from them, it accumulates, and this person gets the sin of that person and you will get the sin of both people. It goes on and on. How can we face that on the Day of Judgement? We cannot.

Therefore, we need to clean our tongues. These tongues were created for the dhikr of Allah (SWT) and to say beautiful things and spread good things. A true believer will never allow their tongue to move with such filth and vulgarity; a decent person will not be able to withstand it. We are an Ummah, people of decency. We have a deen of nobility; do not use your mouths for filthy things. May Allah (SWT) enable us to use our tongues responsibly, because just how will we account for everything else, we will have to account for our tongues. Sometimes, you do not intend to swear, but it does not matter; a swear is a swear. It is still filth that has rolled off your tongue. Think about this and do not entertain people that are using vulgar language. They are not worthy of your company. Someone who cannot control their tongue is not worthy to sit with. It does not matter who they are. They are just not worth your time until they fix themselves. May Allah (SWT) purify our mouths and hearts and enable us to create an environment in which we never have to hear filthy words or vulgar things. May Allah (SWT) keep our ears, tongues, and hearts free from filth and evil.