Ep. 13: Peer Pressure | Best Conduct

One of the challenges that we face as human beings, and, specifically, as youngsters growing up, is the challenge of dealing with external pressures. External pressure means that we are constantly under the influence of the people around us, and when it comes to youth, they are extremely impressionable and affected by people of the same age group. If a youngster sees someone do something or saying something, their natural instinct is to follow them. Our responsibility as Muslims and believers is that we do not just follow anything and everything, and we do not just follow whatever looks appealing; rather, we have this layer or Iman that compels us to first think about what we are saying or seeing. We should ask ourselves, “Does what I am seeing fit into my practices or beliefs?” If it does, then it is great, and we should follow it, but if what we are seeing in front of us is an example of bad behavior and a poor example, or something that would conflict with the teachings of the deen, then we need to have the strength not to follow along. . So many youngsters today are, because of the influence peer pressure, getting involved in all kinds of wrong habits, behaviors and even worse. Why? Just because people around them are acting in that way, doing things and making them look appealing. This peer pressure should not be underestimated. It is a very powerful force. In fact, Allah (SWT) tells the prophet (SAW), “There are people around you putting pressure on you to not go along to what I am telling you.” In one place, Allah (SWT) says, “O prophet (SAW), if we had not made you firm, you would be inclined to them.” In another place, Allah (SWT) says, “People are telling you to stop conveying this message; do not follow them. In fact, put up a great jihad against them.” In this ayat, the jihad is conveying his own message instead of following the message that others are conveying.

Peer pressure, if it is leading to something good or to becoming better students, children, or Muslims, is a beautiful thing. In the time of the prophet (SAW), there was also a kind of pressure amongst the Muslims. What was that? It was very difficult for the Muslims to come to the masjid and pray. You would stick out. It was odd. That is why even the hypocrites would feel compelled to go to the masjid. This is the power of peer pressure – it can lead a group to immensely positive things, but it can also lead a group to immensely dangerous things. Our responsibility is to never become those blind followers and not become so weak that we say, “In order to fit in, I must do this.” Simple example: if you want to fit in to a group of older students and they happen to swear but you talk decently so you do not fit in, but you want to fit in, so you start talking like them. Simple example. It happens all the time. You start using certain words, and people around you start telling inappropriate jokes, which you start doing as well to fit in. A Muslim does not do that. We are stronger than that, and Allah (SWT) has made us smarter than that. It is merely a question of if we use that strength or not. If we get into the habit of using the strength that Allah (SWT) has given us, what will happen is that, when we go outside into the world, you will not feel pressured to change yourself or become just like everyone else. If you do not exercise this today, you might become weak and start to slip. May Allah (SWT) give us tawfiq and understanding.