Ep. 30: Treat People According to Their Status | Best Conduct

The prophet (SAW) taught us not just to respect each other, but also to give each person the kind of respect that is suitable for them. For example, when dealing with someone who is older, there is a different kind of respect shown to them – a person would speak more politely and there is a difference in how they sit, stand, or interact with them. A person would not say anything that the other would find offensive or rude. There is a set of behaviors that we have to display to our elders. We do not act towards our elders, the way we act towards our peers. The prophet (SAW) says in one hadith, “A person who does not show sympathy, affection, or kindness to those younger than them and does not show respect to those older than them nor do they give reverence to those more knowledgeable than them, that person is not from us.” The prophet (SAW) does not want to consider him one of his followers because that is not the way the prophet (SAW) taught us. Even he (AS) would be very careful of these things when dealing with people of different ages. For example, when the father of Abu Bakr (RA) came to accept Islam, he was close to the age of the prophet (SAW), just slightly younger. When Abu Bakr (RA) brought his father, the prophet (SAW) said, “Why did you bring him? I would have come to him myself.” Abu Bakr (RA) said, “You are the prophet of Allah. It is more important that we come to you.” The prophet (SAW) was prepared to leave his masjid and visit his father and have him take the shahada there. He did not want to inconvenience him because of his age. We do not look at elders the same way that we look at our peers.

On the other hand, when the prophet (SAW) dealt with those younger than him, he dealt with them very kindly and gently, and he managed to win the hearts of the young sahaba. Every one of them was prepared to do whatever it took to please Allah (SWT) and his prophet (SAW). When Anas (RA) was sent to do some work by the prophet (SAW), he once got distracted by kids playing in the street, and he joined them and forgot about the task the prophet (SAW)sent him out for. After some time, as he was playing, he felt a set of hands on his shoulders, and he looked behind him to see the prophet (SAW). This is when he remembered his task. He was terrified, but when he saw the face of the prophet (SAW), he was simply smiling at him. Right away, he understood his mistake and ran off to do that task. Once, a young sahaba’s son was running around the house of the prophet (SAW), and he tripped at the doorstep and injured his head. It was the house of Aisha (RA). The prophet (SAW) got up himself and tidied his wound. He said such affectionate words to him. On another occasion, the youngster’s nose was running as he was playing, and he said to his family, “We should clean his face.” Nobody wanted to do this, so the prophet (SAW) went himself and wiped his nose and cleaned his face and showed him affection that a mother would give to her child. The prophet (SAW) dealt with everyone according to what was required at that time. This is something that we must develop within ourselves. There is a manner that we should develop amongst elders and there is a manner that we should develop among our peers. There is also a manner that we should develop to deal with those younger than us. We should have a way to gently deal with everyone we come across in life. This is a teaching of Islam and the prophet (SAW). May Allah (SWT) give us the ability to understand these instructions and implement them.